The best stuff for Halloween can often be found at independent “dollar stores.” (They were  ”dime stores” in my childhood.) They often get cheap-but-delightfully-garish stuff not found elsewhere.  Sometimes they get old stock from warehouses that bigger chain discount stores don’t get merchandise from.

In 2008, Jane and I visited “It’s A Buck,” and found in the Halloween section two “arrow through the head”-type prop gags. They were okay novelty items, but I bought them for the cards they came attached to. There was funny text on one, and good (read: bad) art on the other. And my favorite monster was on both!

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but apparently two bolts make a magic screw. (I like the name “Bloody Magic Screw”– it sounds like a great name for a cocktail!)

The text slays me. You can “LOOK REAL” (At last! I’m always being accused of looking imaginary!) And you can “FOOL YOUR FRIENDS”! Not like an unconvincing fake cast, or phony scar, no sir! Everyone will think YOU have two big bolts penetrating your skull!

Poor Frankenstein. He always seems to have trouble with fire, doesn’t he?

Now let’s look at KNIFE THRU HEAD.  

This looks like crappy poster art for some old Euro-trash horror movie. I’m actually thinking of framing this card back, which measures around 8″ x 12″. So wonderfully garish! (Even has the silhouette of Dracula worked in.) Looks like something from the ’70s. A time when I was a kid, and every Halloween was eagerly anticipated. I would have loved this art back then, too.

Guess there’s something wrong with me. Maybe my head isn’t screwed on just right.

All for now. Gotta bolt!